अपने मित्रों को सुनें

Friend: I like when you talk about how characteristics can only be determined in connection to the whole. As everything depends on everything else no matter how distantly related. In some extremely subtle way, the movements I make today may affect you or perhaps your children's children. We are all interconnected in unfathomable ways. I also agree how nothing is a certainty and we, just by observing, become part of the whole and throw off any 'certainty' that another may prescribe.
We learned the scientific methods, the hypothesizing and creating controlled experiments. Well I guess thats full proof....except that when the experiment is performed by different scientists and/or observers; they can and will interpret the data differently as our observations are going to be swayed by relativity based on prior and current conditions of individual lives and unknown conditions outside the 'human perceptive zone'.
Well, its all crazy to me. Instead of fighting it. Instead of challenging the wall. We can accept it as is and then deal accordingly without angst.
I only know half of what I say.

You ask what I'm doing. I am stagnant and want/need to act but finding it very difficult as the veil of delusion weighs heavy, masking what intuition and the heart say. I just need to invest myself in something - anything and get the ball rolling. I know deep down that I want to make a change and I know it starts small and may always be small. We can't aim to save the world, but even in the community would be nice. I need to find a place where I am happy with good people for support. Positive people. and ones aiming for a higher consciousness. I want my work to be aligned this way.
So... quite ungrounded at this point. Wanting to take the next step b/c nothing feels quite right.
Miss you. Always share with me.
I hope to be here when you visit. I say hope b/c at this point I could be anywhere. A firmer possibility is in Vermont doing some volunteer work at a buddhist center.
Anyway, as I say I am not sure of many things so we'll see but a hike to tripod rock sounds nice.
talk soon. plll
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Me:
Is happiness the goal? Explore that.
I feel you about wanting/needing to do something, especially while
everyone in NJ seems to be running...somewhere.
But WHAT is it that we are to do? When it is not clear, I often get that anxious feeling but then I breathe, rest, pray, and listen. I give thanks for all that I have and pray that I will be given the
opportunity to give back...I know it will arrive, I must remain patient. Both of us are guided (everyone is, we just listen more closely) and realize that all of our actions have effects that are for a greater purpose, MUCH greater than to appease our immediate and current reactions. We simply must live with focus, love, patience and faith because you and me both know that all things will merge eventually.
So I sit in an office and often wonder whether I could be more useful elsewhere. Is it pointless, inefficient? Is is a waste of time to be confined in a metaphorical, but simultaneously, a literal cube? I've been reviewing this for months (and I'm pretty sure my 'staying' is not fear based)...but yet, I am still here! It is still my action. I currently don't perceive that it should be otherwise. Perhaps that will change after India, perhaps not, but if there was another task for me to do, I know it would be clear that I do it, for now.

I listen, I get the 'tasks' done, I give thanks, and I pray...at the office, I meditate, and research and write, and daydream. It is all expansion, I am on a path to an ultimate being, for purity, depth, truth and love and I have faith at some point I will know when it's time to move.

The illusion of control, that we need to 'figure it out' Ha! stop! just fucking stop. ALL of it, we hardly ever stop and sit. Whenever the path is frustrating and doesn't seem to be unfolding how we imagine, stop, relax and LET it unfold, beautiful results will occur. Miss a deadline? So what. Lose a loved one? So what. Late to an expensive show? So fucking what, celebrate the process! Explore WHY the frustration is there. THAT exploration is the purpose, b/c otherwise we would just be IN IT, in the flow, one with all. But this discomfort always triggers us to believe that things should be different, that we need to make changes...no. We just need to celebrate and learn, and we can do this by listening..but oh how it stings so sharply sometimes.

ok, thats enough, babbling as usual. a literal fool. thank you for
helping me in this catharsis as I preach to myself ;)
leggo the ego.
malama pono
aloha no

Nous sommes toujours là!!

Not sure if you have been following this, or even realize that it occurred, but we are still here. Preliminary results look positive, but will the 'god particle' actually be discovered? Stephen Hawking made a $100 bet that it wouldn't...the largest, most expensive experiment in history.

Since we are discussing experiments, I am interested in testing this medium of communication...the blog. I am in the process of formulating a specific goal and mission; what I hope to communicate and achieve, but I plan on a weekly posting. The form will mostly likely be random thoughts and outlandish claims, but I want to test the limits of our acceptance, question our beliefs (or lack thereof) and stimulate action so that we can all continue growth to our ultimate selves, not being confined in fear or expectations, not limited by critics or doubters. I yearn for us to break through walls, every moment, to feel that victory of discovery, of deeper understanding of a clearer purpose, and a more meaningful sense that we are all one.

One quick thought to start: Consider cell phones (and please indulge me a little as this is our first work out). You power on a piece of plastic and metal. You speak into it. The device converts your audible voice into and radio wave and sends it into the air (where it is now inaudible). It is directed to another specific plastic/metal device that converts and transmits the wave back into an audible voice sounding exactly like yours...and this occurs instantaneously. Ok, I am not completely confident in why or how this is successful. I don't fully understand it, but since it seemingly works effectively and consistently, I will concede and accept it.

Allow me to take this to another level. please consider that our brains are electrical and chemical testing labs, synapses fire, hormones, chemicals and vitamins create a delicate balance of stimuli and translation. We are 70% water. Yet is has been proven that our minds can send electromanetic signals and perceive electromagnetic fields. Is mind to mind communication achievable if we simply researched and worked on it ourselves? We may say "your ears are ringing, or I was just thinking of you!, or I dreamt of you" but does it seem that surprising. Perhaps we aren't conciously aware of our perceptiveness. Challenge yourself to 'tune in' daily. Communicate with others, including those in other dimensions. We are all made out of the same 'stuff' add some momentum and we are all merely energy. Travel! Communicate! Merge!

todas las cosas son un

Yo-loha my fuzzy friends,
I'm having a pretty good week! fun bbq on the weekend, farewell sushi dinner sunday, monday jammed with tedd, tues play golf and got comped tickets to the show "Waikiki Nei" in um... Waikiki, last night grilled fresh uhu, ulua, flounder and kumu....so fucking ono. It's great to have a spearfishing roomate.

Today, wanted to work out but my mind is exploding with revelations, can I share my shootcase self?.....nodding? giggling?, then read on! read on my friends! my ohana, my tribe!

So! reading Tao of Physics and I melt into the eastern mysticism, like silk down comforter, like swimming in chocolate soy milk, if every pore on my being was an eardrum and I was shrink wrapped in bose earphones, yeah, it's comfortable.

I melt into it, breathe slower, calm, smile, connect. Then comes the complement. The balance of physics, (check it, the book is completeness, all sides), and physics is building, it's linear, system of blocks: 1 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ,8 ,9 , but its not nine blocks its one block, for some reason that is so much more difficult for me to grasp.

Look at the wave not the particle,

Look at the packet not the wave.

Look at at the field not the packet,

Look at the particle not the field.

It is all the same. Like fish swimming in the same direction as the river current. A light wave can be a particle and an electron particle become a wave. I guess its like vapor>water>ice, it's all the same.

It gets largersmaller, but it really looks like O.

Energy is mass* speed of light squared. Momentum is mass*velocity. But it is impossible to adequately experience/determine/observe a position and momentum at the same time. Similarly, it is impossible to adequately determine energy and duration simultaneously. They are, respectively, inversely related... Is that why the great times seems so short and the low energy calm times move slow? Is it all just perception? an illusion? are they really the same length?

So my mind wanders and strains, mathmatical equations, do you see the derivatives here?...particle wave packet field, all of what is bigger, or smaller, just derivative, like financial products...keros you know this from your lehman day(s)*. Mortgage loan> mortgage backed security> CDO> credit default swap>etc etc. All based on rules. Know the rules, and go one step further. The rules are quantifiable fields, then take another step till THAT position is quantifiable.

I realize a problem so far in this existence is that I constantly question the occurrence and origination of current rules. I ask "WHY IS THIS THE RULE HERE!" This process is thoroughly inhibiting, it's unprogressive, it's futile. I should rather simply accept the presence of the rules and continue resting/serving (praying) for ways to get AROUND the rule, then I will be able to create another 'rule' and expand...for whatever that word means.

I don't want to be standing there, accusing "Why is this wall in front of me? Can someone please tell my why this wall is here?! In front of me!" Rather, I look at the wall, yes, it's there, now lets figure out how to get over/around/under, lets allow my guides to show me how to become the wall and walk through the wall.

A particle can only be defined in relation to other particles. So by definition it's only relation, relativity, basic connection....complementary. As we cannot determine momentum and position simultaneously, we can only offer probabilities, ranges of acceptable positions when momentum is known, ranges of momentum when position is known. However, there is no fundamental significance. These characteristics can only be determined in connection to the whole, and these connections are of a statistical nature, probabilities rather than certainties, therefore there cannot be precision, especially when we, as the observer, become a participant by the mere act of observing.

you feel me chenz? half dome as half dome, then half dome as so much more than half dome, now half dome as half dome. My mind is about to explode, I should open a blog.....maybe I will.

I have so much love for you both. I am so grateful you are in my life and we have shared great times, and that we will share much more! Me Ke Aloha. Malama pono.

*this play on words is not meant to solicit traumatic memories, I sincerely apologize if it caused a drastic change in emotion... if it did, maybe that is something we should all explore further. but regardless : if can, apologies. all aloha.